4 months on the 4th year

Ella turned 4 months on Drew and my 4 year wedding anniversary. Both seem unbelievable to me. 4 years? Really, I thought we went on our first date just last year, I could have sworn we got married just this summer. That was 4 years ago? What have I been doing? You mean we had a baby? But hasn't Ella been with us forever? There was a time before Ella, what in heavens name did we do?
Marriage to Drew has been a wonderful thing, nothing at all that I thought it would be. Well, almost nothing, there are a few things that turned out how I thought. The china we got for our wedding looks exactly how I thought it would when we eat off of it, as a married couple. But other than that, I have been surprised at how surprising marriage is. I can say the same thing for having a child. Before you have a baby, people you do not even know, will stop you and say, "congragulations, is this your first?" I would have thought that an odd question, but having friends and family that have had babies I knew what was implied.... What everyone said and what I find myself thinking now. You have no idea what it is like to have a baby until you have one. I had no idea. I read books, I asked questions, I read more books, but I had no idea. There has never been anything that has changed me and my life so ultimately, profoundly and quickly as having Ella. Ella is such a huge shift that there are now two parts to my life, B.E. (before Ella) and A.E. (after Ella) and I know that I was there for both of those times but it is hard to reconcile the priorities I use to have with the priorities that I have today. Nor can I explain how blessed I feel. If I could go back in time and tell the B.E. me anything, it would probably be what everyone said to me...you have no idea, however your wedding china still looks the same.