Ummm, I can not find the lap on this one

Ella coming has not helped relations with the pets on the home front. I have 4 pets. I say me, because, all of the pets came into our house without Drew's' full consent. This means that I am in charge of taking care of them. 4 pets and one child has gotten to be too much, so I have decided to downsize. I have three guinea pigs (Ford, Roger, and Betty) and one cat (Fitz). Fitz and I have discussed it and we have decided that Fitz will no longer be a pet. I am hiring Fitz as a temporary employee. Depending on how it works out, it might become permanent. Fitz is the house lap warmer and couch cushion impersonator. He has had a lot of experience at both of these positions. Since we live in the North, I think the lap warmer is the more useful of the two position (duct tape will be available to get rid of any unwanted hair on guests). My guinea pigs are another story. Ford has always been my favorite, being the smartest and lest likely to bite, of the three. I have decided to keep Ford as my pet. Ford has petitioned to keep Betty and Roger as her pets. Apparently food is not enough, she needs a little more entertainment. It is fine with me and she has been busy teaching Betty and Roger to paint her toenails. It seems the lack of opposable thumbs is the main stumbling block.

You can not leave me with her

Poor baby girl, every since she was conceived we have been hanging out together. All day, every day. I thought I would be the one with baby girls expression on her face. I mean how much of one person can you take? All I gotta say at this point is, give me more. That is right, I never thought I would say it, but there is no shaking me. I am an Ella fanatic. Not to say I do not like to get away, but even when I am away, enjoying onion rings, BAM, I start thinking about Ella. Crazy. I have not thought about anything this much, it beats out food and how to get Drew to agree to letting me keep the Guinea pigs. Gawd love her, because one day, I know she is going to try and go to school or prom and it is going to be so hard explaining why her Mom is looking in the school window.

A GA peach kisses a Yankee butterbean

When Ella blessed us with her company, her GA born and bred Grandparents came up to Yankeeville PA to visit the newest member of the family. Before Ella came, MiMi and Pop Pop had picked out their names and commenced to spoiling. Ms. Ella had 4 drawers full of cloths and an entire nursery of furniture, not to mention diapers, burp cloths and a very cute stuffed gorilla, thanks to MiMi and Pop Pop. After, she came, they got to spoil her in person. She was cuddled and cooed, kissed and rocked. Once they left, I was reminded of what I missed for Ella, family. People love a baby, but family loves Ms. Ella. I thought of this as I discussed how many poops Ella was making with my Grandmame. My Grandmame, who usually talks politics or geography, was intensely interested in how much Ella was pooping. Was she sleeping? How was the feedings going? Has she gained weight, when was her next doctors appt.. All this interest and the girl isn't able to hold her head up yet. I love that I have someone to talk poop with 'cause as much as folks at the supermarket will chat me up about Ella, I think poop talk might cross the line of polite conversation.

Put a birthday hat on her and call her a month old

Today Ms. Ella is officially 4 weeks old. A lifetime in newborn years, she is exhausted. According to the books, she has been learning to focus her eyes, figuring out she has hands and feet and learning to coo. I on the other hand, think she has learned long division, how to cook, read and sew and is excellent at cooing. She has not done any of the above things in real life, except coo, but I can tell by the glint of genius in her eyes, that as soon as she can hold her head up, Julia Child's legacy better watch out. I, on the other hand, have learned that though my boobs might not look all that smart, they are able to produce an on demand newborn buffet at the drop of a hat. I am so proud. I have also learned that Drew and I are now on Ella time, and continuous sleep is over rated. I have learned that Drew's patience, which I appreciated as his wife, who for the umpteenth time had to call him to find out my password for my email or my phone number, as his partner parent, appreciate in a whole new light when it comes to Ella. I have learned that nothing in my blessed life has prepared me for the joy of loving Ms. Ella. I would put a candle on the boob for you Ms. Ella, but nobody wants to see that. Instead I will say Happy one month day, we are grateful.

Every girl needs a party trick

Little Ms. Ella seems to have long, dexterous toes. These toes are always wiggling and can wrap around a finger like a bow on a Christmas present. Long toes run on both the maternal and paternal side of Ella's family tree. On my side, long limbs for my Mom's folks, are just part of the deal. They have long fingers, long toes, long legs, put some spots on those folks and they would be confused for short giraffes. On Drew's side of the family MeMama is the one gifted with long toes. Unlike my family, where long limbs are just par for the course, MeMama has put hers to work. She has been known to use those piggies to hold a knife and butter bread with it, during a party. I am hoping Ella has MeMama's toes. Every girl needs a party trick and that sure beats any party tricks I could have genetically passed on to her.

It is tough being the size of a watermelon

I thought, that I would love dressing up Ella in all her adorable outfits, call it naive, but I thought babies outfits are adorable, and babies are adorable thus, the two would naturally go together. Ella never got that message. She actually is O.K. with everything until we have to squeeze her head through the neck hole of any outfit. Now with some of these outfits, I completely understand, the neck holes are the size of lemon, her head is the size of a grapefruit. Throw all your major sensory organs and the ability to breath on that grapefruit and one can begin to understand why it is so unpleasant for the grapefruit. However, some of these neck holes can more than accommodate the size of her head. It does not matter. She is not happy. I have begun to think this is due to flashbacks. I have always heard that birth is like squeezing a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon. Being the owner of the lemon, that is what I most sympathized with. Now seeing the watermelon, freak out anytime a hole the size of lemon comes near her head, I am sympathizing with the watermelon.

She sleeps with one eye open

Ms. Ella seems to notice a lot more now a days. All of a sudden she seems captivated by the window, lights, I even think she noticed Fitz. This has lead to her being more awake during the day. And even when she falls asleep, she seems to sleep with one eye open. It is as if she does not want to miss a thing. Being the last girl asleep at any slumber party, I can sympathize. This being said as soon as she hits her Dad's arms, all bets are off. She is snoozing like Santa on the off season. That Drew, very handy, one man baby changer and baby soother, now if he could only lactate.

Day Trip

Today Ella and I went to the park with our friends. Getting Ella ready for a car trip involves the following: pack diaper bag, feed Ella, change Ella, feed Ella again, oh my we have spit up now we have to change Ella .... and on it goes. Finally we hold our breath and stuff Ella in the car seat. If we can get Ella into a moving car, without any crying, we are golden. Ella will sleep the sleep of happy newborns, despite her poor bobbing head. All this to see some ducks, which of course Ella was too exhausted to wake up for. But then again, she is only three weeks old, seeing is a relative term.

The belly button has arrived

Ella lost her umbilical cord and now she not only has a belly button ( an innie) but she can also take real baths. Giving Miss Ella her bath is Drew's realm. He does it so well that Ella does not even seem freaked out that she just went from dry to wet. I on the other hand, try and set up all supplies: Towel, check, diaper, check, clean onesie, etc.. I can tell Ella is Drew's child. She is one laid back baby. Hold her and she is fine, lay her down in the bassinet, she is fine, tub time, fine by her. If any of that was me, I would want a plan written and submitted to me 24 hours before any change in environment happened. Thank goodness for Drew's genes.

The aftermath

Today Ella and I went to the grocery store. I have discovered that Ella is not real fond of groceries stores. Places Ella is fond of are anywhere she has instant access to the boob. The grocery store, even though equipped with the very soothing grocery cart, is not one of these places. Usually, I love people commenting on how adorable Ella is , but when I know that there is a ticking tummy ready to go off at any minute, I act like a bodyguard to a celebrity. I do a body block between complimenter and baby Ella, nod my head and usher Ella and cart down the isle. I also, usually enjoy a bagger who is conscious of not crushing my oreos. However, when Ella is crying and I am wondering how long it is going to take before my boobs start leaking, my priorities shift. I started throwing apples and oxyclean in the same bag, oreos be damned. Poor Ella breastfeed in the car like she was in a milk chugging contest for a radio station. She then, promptly threw it up. Once home, we changed, spent some quality time with the breasts and now she is fast asleep. I am munching on oreos.

Sleeping Babe

The bliss of a sleeping baby. It means that you too can go to sleep. Not since grad school have I appreciated a 4 hour nap as much as I do now. Knock on wood, Ella will sleep for 4 hour stretches. From all the books I have read, this make us very lucky. What amazes me is there are two of us, working for this little bitty thing and we are both exhausted. I can not imagine the life of a single Mom, much less the life of a single Mom with more that one babe. I send a little shout out to the heavenly father for all the single Moms, whenever I get overwhelmed.
Also, to all the Moms I have known. I had no idea, I apologize for handing you a onesies wrapped in pretty paper and then just going on my way. I should have baked you dinners, called and asked how you were on a daily basis, talked to you about your leaking boobs, or non-leaking boobs and promised you that things would settle down after a while (I do not know if that is true but that is the golden hope, that people keep telling me and I cling to it).